The Adventures of Barron Trump
by Jiggly Booty
Summary: Barron Trump has always been in his older siblings' shadows. His father, Donald Trump, now has to rule America and leaves little time for his young son. Learn Barron Trump's real backstory and some of his many adventures. Featuring many iconic characters from tv shows such as Fox News and CNN, and of course the United State's government.
1. The Beginning

This is a story about Barron Trump. While his older siblings get all the attention he has been shunned into the background. This, is his story.

The Adventures of Barron Trump

It was a cool autumn day in Washington. The various trees were different shades of red and orange, and Halloween was just around the corner. The city was decorated for Halloween, even the White House had some pumpkins. The atmosphere was sparked with excitement as it would be the first family's first time celebrating Halloween in the White House. Everyone was elated except for one young child…

"MOM WHY CAN'T I GO TRICK OR TREATING THIS YEAR," yelled a very angry Barron Trump. He had just received the news that he would not be able to trick or treat that year. And he wasn't used to being denied something he wanted.

Melania Trump took a long sip from her cup of coffee, before setting it down on a nearby table. As if she was getting ready for a long speech. "Barron, as you might know your father is a very. . . important man. Now that he is president he has a huge responsibility to defend this country."

"And what does that have to do with me?"

"Well he is not a very well liked person, and people might hurt you because of that."

"If they try that then they'll be deported. Besides what's the worst that could happen?"

"Put poison in your candy, a drive by shooting, someone kidnapping you and holding you for ransom. I put some thought into this as well and I have to agree it's too dangerous even if you had armed guards."

Tears started rolling down Barron's face and he cried, "I hate you! My life isn't fair!" He then turned around and started running down the hallway.

"Sweetie wait!" Barron could hear his mom call after him, but he didn't care. He passed various servants and government officials, but he didn't slow down as he ran. Finally he reached the end of the hallway which led to a door onto the lawn. He shrugged on a Gucci coat and took off through the door. Barron ran until he came to the edge of the fence. He was tired and he was panting, because he didn't have to go to PE class. He glanced back to see if anyone was watching, he saw no one. He turned back and clumsily climbed the fence and tried lowering himself to the ground. His hand slipped and he fell onto ground. He got up grumbling and rubbing his sore rump. That's when he noticed something odd, he didn't see a living thing anywhere. Even the bugs seemed to be in hiding

"How strange," Barron muttered. "I thought my daring escape would be met with more opposition. Oh well I guess this makes things easier." Since he had no plan on where to go or what to do. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his diamond studded wallet and peered inside. He pulled out his smallest bill, a hundred dollar bill, and made a paper airplane. He casually tossed it into the air. There was a sudden gust of wind that picked up the dollar airplane and started carrying it down the street. "Hey, wait you fool!" He then preceded to run after it, wondering where it was going. After a while the airplane swirled straight into a dark storm drain.

"Ah man, I needed that for gas money." Barron trotted over to the storm drain he then got on his hands and knees and peered into the dark chasm. It was pitch black, but he thought he saw something that might've been his dollar. He leaned in closer and suddenly a figure materialized out of the shadows. He screamed and fell on his butt before he realized it was just Hillary Clinton.

 **Author's Note: This will be my new series, I don't know** **how many chapters it'll have. This is an It reference. All reviews are appreciated and thanks for reading!**


	2. The Discovery

Barron sighed and leaned back away from the hole, "What do you want Hillary."

(Imagine Hillary Clinton saying this) "Heeeey Barron, how's the White House been treating you?"

"It's alright, I mean it's not as fancy as my room in Trump Tower-"

"I remember when I lived in the White House. It was nice, I really hoped I could've lived there again. The tennis court, bowling alley, and of course the array of chefs. Shame it all had to end."

"Um, that's cool," Barron said uneasily. "Anyway I think I should get going."

"No wait," Hillary said suddenly, the airy voice seeming to disappear into thin air. "I have a message for your father…"

"My father? What do you want with him?"

A cold look appeared in Hillary's beady eyes. "I spent a lot of time, effort, and money into my campaign. And to have my glory stolen by some stupid oompa loompa is unacceptable. I came soooo close, once I finally got Bernie of my back I thought I had a sure victory, but no it was ruined by the bigot everyone thought was joke."

Barron shifted uncomfortably, "So that rant was the message?"

Hillary shifted her gaze to the young boy, her eyes had changed to become blood red. "I remember telling your father that I liked his children, including even you. You must've gotten that effect from your mother Melania. Here's the real message for your father, You might've won the inauguration Mr. President but this war is far from over. A storm's coming and it's coming quick. This is a warning and you better not ignore it."

"What does that mean?" Barron began, but Hillary had stepped back into the shadows.

"You'll find out soon enough." With that statement hanging in the air Hillary finally moved out of view and into the depths. Barron got to his feet and brushed off the dust that had accumulated on his pants. Losing the inspiration of running away, Barron decided to return home. He walked back to the fence and hopped over once again, but this time he landed on his feet. He was immediately confronted by guards.

"Young master Barron, we were so worried! You had us looking for you everywhere!"

' _Everywhere?'_ Barron thought. ' _But I was only like 10 feet from the fence, they're Incompetent fools.'_ Barron looked past them. "Yeah well, I'm back now. And I have a message for my father, I have to meet with him immediately." The guards nodded their heads and ushered Barron inside. Barron couldn't stop thinking about what Hillary said. "A storm is coming and it's coming quick." Barron muttered to himself. "What nonsense, what kind of idiot would believe that." Yet still he trudged on to the Oval Office to deliver the news. After walking through the twisting hall ways they finally made it to their destination. One of the guards knocked on the door.

"Mr. President."

"What is it Turnip?" Trump called back immediately "I'm kind of in the middle of something."

"I asked him not to call me that," the guard muttered. "Your son would like to have a word with you."

There was a pause. "Which son is it?"

"Barron."

"Oh of course he can come in, all my children are welcome. Well except when I'm doing important things of course."

Turnip nodded and opened the door, Barron then stepped inside. Once inside Barron could see his father, Donald Trump, looking into a large mirror. Instead of Trump's usual suit and tie he was wearing a bow tie, candy cane striped pants, a navy suit coat, and a white top hat with stars.

Trump turned around and looked at his son. "So how do you like it?"

Barron was caught offhand by the question and asked, "what are you wearing?"

"What do you mean 'what are you wearing' it's my Halloween costume for the party. I'm Uncle Sam the greatest American war veteran out there. He's one of my greatest heroes." He then turned back to the mirror and started checking out his reflection

"Uh huh, sure. Well are you interested in the message?"

"Yeah sure whatever. Just tell me already." So Barron retold his experience earlier that day. After he was done Trump had a sullen look on his face. "I'm gonna build a great wall between México and the U.S. and the one around my house can't keep an eleven year old boy in. I really need to redesign that fence."

Barron felt incredulous, "Aren't you worried about Hillary's warning?"

Trump rolled his eyes, "I doubt she'll try anything, then again she doesn't have much to lose. I mean, what's the worst that could happen?"


	3. The Sadness

**Author's Note: I'm sooo sorry for being gone for so long, I had school to deal with and I didn't have any effort of finishing this story.**

Barron Trump sat by the family Christmas tree eagerly waiting. Stacked by its trunk was a mountain of gifts all for Barron, some of it from his family, government officials, and of course his adoring fans. For the 5th time he glanced at the clock, it read 8:25. He sighed, first his parents didn't include him in the White House's Christmas cards and now they were late to opening the presents. He leaned back in his chair and debated whether or not to start opening his gifts or not when the door flew open and his father marched into the room with a group of reporters.

"I am so glad to be able to finally show you all the toys that we will be donating to the Salvation Army. I doubt poor Obama had this many," Trump replied proudly, sweeping his orange hand by the Christmas tree. The reporters 'ooed' and started wildly snapping pics of all the beautiful presents. "I trust these will end up on Fox News?" One of the reporters nodded. "Excellent," Trump casually flicked his wrist and immediately workers filed into the room and started carrying the gifts out of the room.

"WHAT!" Barron screeched jumping out of his chair, he snatched a Captain America toy from one of the workers. "Back off these are mine!" He then hissed like a cat and started grabbing as many presents as he could fit in his arms.

"Barron where is your Christmas spirit?" Trump moaned, rubbing his temple. "We raised you to be a good Christian, not a stingy Jew." Barron stopped right in his tracks. His father was right, why be a slave to consumerism when he could just give his burden to poor people? It all made sense to Barron, he smiled.

"You're right dad, I don't need these stupid toys." He then turned back to the worker and handed him the present. "Make sure this gets a good home." He then pat the worker on the head. The reporters 'awwed' and snapped a few pics of Barron handing the present. After awhile all the presents were gone and all the reporters left. Trump then cart wheeled over and messed up Barron's hair affectionately.

"I'm proud of you son, you overcame your stinginess and gave your presents to people who need it most. I know it must be hard for you to give up a diamond fidget spinner." Barron stared at his father in the eyes.

"DID YOU SAY THERE WAS A DIAMOND FIDGET SPINNER IN ONE OF THOSE!?"

"Of course there was. that's what you wanted the most for Christmas."

"AHHHHHHHHH," Barron screamed breaking into tears. "Why didn't you tell me? I would've kept it. I hate you, I never want to see you again." Barron then ran to his room. He pulled out his fidget spinner collection and traced the spot where he was going to put his diamond fidget spinner. "Stupid dad and his stupid publicity stunt." He started wiping away his tears with his expensive Chinese silk handkerchief. He then remembered he still had some m&m's left over from last night hidden under his bed. He crouched down and peered in the darkness, but all that was left were candy wrappers. He kicked his bed frame. "Oh that's right, Chris Christie's fat ass was over last night." He then got on his bed and moodily curled into a ball. "Today sucks, but at least this year can't get any worse."


	4. The Deal

It was a cold February morning in Washington DC. Many people had decided to stay inside that day instead of adventuring out into the harsh winter air. Including the Trumps, Barron as per usual moodily sat in his room playing MineCraft by himself. **Fuking Noob,** he typed into game chat. **Git gud or git out**. Barron quietly chuckled to himself for his genius insult. He took a quick swig of Mt. Dew and grabbed a couple Doritos which he devoured. As he was sucking the succulent Dorito dust off his fingers there was a knock on his door. "Who dares?" Barron shouted, annoyed that someone would interrupt his fun time.

"Young master Barron, your mother requests your presence in the main hall." Turnip firmly replied.

Barron slumped in his chair and let out a huge groan. "But wwwwwhhhhhhyyyyyy?"

"She said that it was of upmost importance," Turnip said.

Hillary's warning flashed through Barron's mind but as soon as it came it was gone. Barron started spinning in his chair pondering whether or not to go. Eventually he decided that he might as well see if it was important, not like he cared or anything. He drug himself out of the chair and onto his feet and stumbled to the door, his legs had fallen asleep. He opened his door and peeked out, but Turnip had already left. "Nitwit, he should have waited for me," Barron grumbled under his breath. He pushed the door fully open and made his way to the main hall. Finally he made it to the door where he shoved it open to show how moody he was. Melania Trump was casually sitting on the couch reading a magazine, appearing to be totally oblivious to Barron's angst. For a while Barron stood there sifting his weight from side to side, hoping that his mom would try to comfort him or talk to him. Yet Melania continued to sit there flipping through pages skimming through articles. Finally Barron spoke up, "So you wanted to see me **mother?**

Melania finally looked up and had a stern look on her face. She slowly closed her magazine and placed it to her side and cleared her throat. "Barron, your father and I have come to the conclusion that you spend too much time on your little computer, you should be going outside and getting some much needed exercise."

Barron groaned and dramatically fell onto the couch, "Why does it matter? All parents do is make things not fun."

Melania rolled her eyes, "You obviously get your drama from your father. Besides I have some good news for you, I thought it would be a good idea for you to bring a date to our Valentine's day ball."

Barron shot to his feet lightning fast, "That's not fair! Why should I have to do that, I'm only 11."

"I think this might help you realize that there's more to life than video games. It you refuse to do it then you won't get any presents for three years."

"Well where am I supposed to get a date from huh? I refuse to spend my money on one."

"Ask a girl from school or something, if not I'll arrange something for you."

Barron tensed up, _'Ask someone from school...me?'_ He shuddered at the thought. _'They don't deserve someone as important as me, then there is only one option.'_ Barron looked down at his feet in embarrassment. "Could you uh...get a date for me?"

Melania looked at Barron with a twinkle in her eye, "Of course honey, I'll pick a special little lady just for you. Though the Valentine's Day Ball is tomorrow so I will have to pick someone fast." Barron nodded coyly and continued to stare at his feet. Melania got up and hugged her son. "Don't worry baby, it will be all right." She then kissed him on top of his head and said, "Go back to your video games, you have a big day tomorrow."


	5. The Attack

It was Valentine's Day and Barron Trump was sweating profusely. His mother had set him up for a date for the White House's Valentine's Day Ball. He was anxiously waiting in the front entryway looking around for his special little lady. He had no idea who it was, his mother insisted to keep it a surprise, but that couldn't keep Barron's hands from shaking. He sipped his punch and glanced around at the guests attending the party. Everyone was dressed in fancy clothes and made polite chit-chat. He slumped in his chair, "This is the most boring thing ever, I just want my 3DS right now." While Barron was dwelling in his misery, he didn't notice a girl approaching him.

"Hello Barron, it's me I'm here." Barron jumped up in surprise eyeing his date. She was a strange looking girl, she was tall with long blue hair, Barron couldn't tell her age as her face was heavily caked in makeup. She wore long black gloves up to her shoulders which was covered with a long black dress. In fact the only skin you could see was her neck up. She held a fancy black purse in one hand that looked quite expensive. Her eyes were dark and bloodshot, as if she hadn't slept in days. "My name is Isabela Hopkin, I'm pleased to make your acquaintance." She said in a creaky voice. She stretched out her hand for Barron to kiss, but he just stood there dumbfounded.

"How old are you anyway?" Barron bluntly asked.

A flash of anger shown in Isabela's eyes but it quickly vanished replaced by a cold look. "Why I'm 10 years old. Isn't it obvious?"

"Sorry I really couldn't tell, your face is very...timeless." Isabela silently stared at Barron for awhile until he became uncomfortable. "Erm, would you like to go into ball room?" Isabela nodded and with out saying anything grabbed Barron's hand. Immediately Barron went rigid feeling very awkward about the sudden contact.

"Lead the way sir," Isabela said curtly. Barron shuddered and slowly pushed his way through the crowd of people, he tried to release his hand but Isabela's gripe was a strong as iron. When they went into the ball room Barron looked around the dancing to see where his parents were, but they could not be seen. _'I'll make sure mother will hear about all the emotional distress that she has caused me, and I hope this will never happen again.'_ When Barron passed by the food table Isabela finally let go. She meandered over to the elaborate setup and set her purse on the table. She reached over and picked out a huge chunk of meat. Her fair poise evaporated in an instant, she devoured the flesh as if she was a wild beats tearing off bits with her teeth. Meat juice squirted out and started running down her chin, but it was as if she didn't even notice. Barron hastily grabbed some napkins and shoved them into her hands, as she was starting to make a scene. She stared at the napkins for a moment, then it seemed that she woke up from a dream. Her eyes her eyes became clear and she became aware of her surroundings. She looked around at the horrified faces and surprisingly she sneered, "What're you looking at?" Barron stood back mortified, hoping no one would think she was his date. Once again Isabela turned around and grabbed his hand pulling him away from the crowd of people and into a shadowy corner, leaving her purse behind.

They sat there awhile out of sight, but suddenly the music changed. Instead of the usual club dance music that had been going on all night they were playing a romantic slow song. Isabela looked up at Barron expectantly, which made Barron want to crawl in a hole and die. Eventually the dominant Isabela grabbed Barron's dainty hands and hauled him on to the crowded dance floor accidently knocking into several couples. They angrily grumbled to themselves as they moved away from the two kids. Isabela guided Barron's hesitant hands to her waist, while her large manish hands rested on his neck. They stared into each other's eyes as they slowly swayed to the song. This was the most awkward Barron had ever felt in his entire life. The longer he spent dancing the worse it became, Isabela's eyes bore deep into Barron's as if she was trying to read his mind. After a few minutes of dancing Isabela smirked. "It's funny how cute you can be when you're embarrassed."

"What makes you say that?" Barron asked hesitantly.

"Well the way you've been acting around me, like I'm some sort of crazy person."

Barron was taken aback by the conviction, then he felt shame. "I'm sorry if I mad you feel bad, it wasn't my intention."

Isabela shrugged her shoulders and said, "Well I can't exactly say I'm like most girls."

"What makes you say that?" Barron asked. Though in his mind he couldn't agree more.

Isabela glanced left and right to see if anyone was around then looked back at Barron, a devilish smile creeping on her face. Barron had a suddenly had a bad feeling as if something bad was gonna happen. Isabela eyes seemed to glow red as she leaned forward to Barron's Ear. "Why that's because I'm Hillary Clinton." Barron jumped back staring at Isabela with horror about to shout, but it was too late. To the left a massive explosion erupted throwing easily Barron off his feet and into the wall. immediately screams filled the room and body parts littered the floor. Barron's ears were ringing and he was very dizzy. He felt his nose and it came back red with blood. He then realized that Hillary wasn't with him he turned his head just in time to see her disappear around the corner. He would not her escape, he hauled himself to his feet and nearly vomited from the pain. His vision swam and the cries of the wounded filled his ears. He grabbed a handgun from a dead guard and set off to apprehend Hillary. He wobbled down the hall as fast as he could, leaving a trail of blood in his wake. When ever he turned into a new corridor he could see a glimpse of her before she turned the corner. Which fueled his rage and made him walk even faster. He knew that he was in a private part of the White House where many government secrets were kept. So it was area that Barron rarely had the privilege of traveling in, but Hillary on the other hand was well adapted to these halls. Barron turned a corner only to find that Hillary had disappeared. Barron punched the wall angrily, _'okay Barron she's just in one of these rooms right?'_ Barron then proceeded to look throughout each room, until he came upon a door that was locked. He furiously pounded on the door and screeched, "OPEN THE DOOR HILLARY!" There was no response, Barron took out the handgun and shot out the lock. He rammed the door with his shoulder bursting into the dark room.

There stood the snake Hillary in all her in godly glory, she had abandoned her hideous disguise and was now in her true form. Immediately Barron opened fire but due to Hillary's demon like reflexes and Barron's injured arm she managed to dodge every bullet, also the fact that Barron's gun training had come from video games. Barron ran out of bullets and threw the gun at Hillary, she easily caught it and crushed it into a lump of metal with one hand. Barron took a step back stunned at the action that just transpired. That's when Barron finally noticed that Hillary was clutching a file of papers close to chest, he glanced to the side and realized that one of the many filing cabinets was open. "What do you have there?" Barron hissed.

"Oh, this?" Hillary replied smugly tossing the file from hand to hand. "Why it's the nuclear launch codes my dear boy. With these bad boys I'll be able to theoretically hold the entire Earth hostage. This is how I'll come back from my fall of grace."

"NO," Barron screamed. He lunged forward to grab the file, but Hillary reached behind her and picked up a gun and pointed it at Barron.

"Not another step or you'll be missing a couple body parts." Barron immediately put his hands up and backed up against the wall. Hillary grinned and pointed the gun away from Barron. "What a good little boy." Suddenly a low rumbling noise filled the air. "Oh looks like my ride's here!" The room's ceiling ripped away to reveal a large black helicopter silently hovering the White House. A long rope ladder was thrown off the side of the helicopter and the end landed in the room. Hillary stepped onto the ladder and let out a witch like cackle. "See you around Barron, work on your social skills you were a boring date." The helicopter rose into the air and flew off into the night sky. Hillary's laughter echoing in Barron's brain.

 **This is satire, if there's a US government official reading this, this is a joke. I'm not gonna attack the White House or anyone. Trump isn't that bad of a president.**

 **Love, Jiggly Booty**


	6. The School

**Author's Note: I would like to apologize to everyone for taking sooooo long to update. I only had my iPad to write fanfictions on and it's really annoying to write on there. I finally got my laptop back so I will be able to update more frequently, thank you.**

It had been 5 months since the attack in Washington and the entire nation's initial panic had faded away into panging worry. Less people were out on the streets out of fear for nuclear fall out, which led to less and less businesses receiving income. The economy plummeted and things were looking very bleak in America. Hillary had gone into hiding along with the rest of her followers, rumors had begun that she has building an army capable of taking over America. Though she could technically blow up the world whenever she wanted.

Currently Barron Trump was outside the smokey ruins that used to be the White House. During the attack a fire broke out, and it managed to burn down America's most iconic real estate. Barron turned to his group of bodyguards and said, "Well it was smaller than Trump Tower anyway, and besides we can rebuild a mansion that's even better." But inside Barron felt glum, mostly because all of his stuff was destroyed in the fire. "I think I'd like to return to school now." Turnip nodded and the bodyguards surrounded Barron in a protective bubble. In case anyone tried to attack Barron, which was unlikely as there was nobody else on the street. Barron rolled his eyes and allowed him to be escorted into the large black Cadillac. Barron wasn't a fan of school, but it was better than staying home all the time. The car drove out of D.C. and into Maryland, where Barron's school was located. After about an hour and a half of driving they finally arrived in front of St. Andrew's Episcopal School. Barron thanked the driver and gave him a small tip of $100. He forgot his backpack at home, but the teachers wouldn't dare punish him for not having his homework done. With the snap of his fingers he could have them deported to the Atlantic Ocean. He strolled up to the school's doors and went inside.

Immediately he was greeted with the sight of young students scurrying to class. Barron stepped into the current of kids and tried to make his way to his classroom, but he kept getting pushed and jostled. He became irritated as it seemed as if none of the kids paid him any attention, which was something he was not used to. "EVERYONE STOP MOVING AND LET YOUR KING THROUGH," Barron screeched. Instantly the children stood stock still, eyeing Barron with a combination of fear and distaste. Barron rolled his eyes and stalked his way way down the hallway. He felt hundreds of eyes staring at him, but he didn't care they weren't worth his attention. Eventually he came in front of door 15, his classroom. He turned back to the frozen students, "YOU MANY CONTINUE ON WITH YOUR MEANINGLESS LIVES." He then opened the door and stepped inside, he then made sure to slam the door closed as hard as he could. He glanced around the room, most of his classmates had already arrived and were staring at him. He ignored them and sat down in his seat next to the window.

"Pssst, hello sire," Barron turned his head to see that it was his best friend Richie. "It's been a while since you've been in school, how have you been?"

Barron thought about the question before answering, "I've been better, it's amazing that people don't treat me like a prince when I basically am."

Richie nodded his head, "Yes, I'm afraid that these commoners don't have a grasp that manners exist. You shouldn't worry though, respect from them is the same as obedience from a dog."

Barron laughed, it was funny because it was true. Other people might as well be animals to Barron, they were in completely different levels of society. "I thought that since we went to a private school there'd be less thots, but I suppose they're everywhere." He said while watching a group of girls using the dog filter on Snapchat.

Richie shrugged, revealing the expensive jewelry that he was wearing. Most of it cost more than the average American life. Barron smirked as he looked at the other kids. Everyone else was wearing their school uniforms, while Barron was wearing all Gucci. The teachers didn't bother enforcing uniform rules on him. The teacher finally arrived just in time to begin teaching mathematics. After about 10 minutes of that, the principal's voice came over the intercom. "May Barron Trump please be excused to the principal's office." As a single body the class went 'oooooooooo' Baroon glared at them as he gathered his things. ' _Of course the principal has to embarrass me infront of the entire class. Wait till my father hears about this.'_ He strutted to the front of the class and out the door.

Barron slowly strolled down the hallway to the principal's office thinking to himself. _'What did I do this time? The always pick on me because I'm the most talented and attractive kid in this school.'_ His thoughts were interrupted as he noticed that he was in front of the principal's door. He sighed and opened the heavy door to reveal the principal at his desk and Sarah Huckabee Sanders standing beside him. "Ugh what is going on?" Barron whined. Barron really didn't like Sarah Sanders, she was just too masculine for a woman.

The principal cleared his voice, "Mrs. Sanders here said that you needed to be brought home at once, she claimed it was an emergency."

Sarah nodded her head gravely. "Wait so I get to leave this dump early? That's a relief." The principal raised an eyebrow at his rudeness but said nothing.

"We'll explain everything to you when we get home." Sarah said grabbing Barron's hand with her large mannish ones. Barron recoiled at being touched by someone, but her gripe was so strong that he was trapped. "Bye Mr. Principal, I hope you don't watch CNN." Sarah then proceeded to drag Barron all the way to the Cadilac where she tossed him in the back seat like a sack of potatoes. She then got into the driver's seat and started to drive to the Trump's new house. She tried to entertain Barron with the story about when she wrestled a full grown grizzly bear into submission, but he mostly slept through it. After a while they finally arrived in front of the Trump's residence, a place they like to call Trump's Triumph.


	7. The Meeting

Sarah Sanders pulled up in front of the large golden gates of President Trump's house. Around a dozen armed guards ran over to the gate and pulled it open. Barron open his window and handed one of them a quarter as a tip, it was the least he could do. The guards then waved them through and Sarah continued driving up the winding road to Trump's estate. Eventually the large golden mansion came into view. It was made of solid gold and encrusted with pure diamonds. The land used to have a Taco Bell situated on it, but Trump bulldozed it to show America's might. Finally they made it to the front doors. One of their butlers, Heath, was waiting for them by the curb. As per usual he rolled out the red carpet so that Barron could walk to the door without scuffing his alligator skin boots. Barron then shoved the car door open and stepped out onto the rug. He strolled to the front door of his house full of swagger. Sarah Sanders quickly ran up to Barron and opened the front door for him. Barron stepped inside to reveal the large interior of the house. Like the White House it was full of people, mostly government officials but also some house staff. Barron noticed some servants were polishing the golden walls and they greeted with big smiles. He ignored them and turned to Heath.

"I heard that my father had requested my presence, where is he?"

"Your father is waiting for you in the War Room. I will escort you there now." Heath then started briskly walking to the War Room, leaving Barron behind. Barron sighed in annoyance and began trailing after him. After walking through the maze like building they arrived in front of a door that had a lot of noise behind it. Heath opened the door revealing a large wooden table with many people sitting around it arguing with each other. Trump was sitting at the head of the table rubbing his temples as if he had a headache. Barron even saw Sarah Sanders in there, somehow getting there before he did. Barron awkwardly shuffled into the room and sat down in an empty chair near his father.

For a couple more minutes the arguing continued. Barron took out his iPhone 12 and started playing Fortnite Mobile, his favorite game. Finally Trump decided that he had enough. He took a deep breath and shouted, "WOULD YOU ALL SHUT UP AND LET ME TALK." Immediately everyone stopped talking and looked at Trump, they all feared deportation. "For those who are unaware, we have finally discovered the location of Hillary Clinton and her cult of followers. She has established a stronghold in the most disgusting most liberal state of all...California." Gasps were heard throughout the room and people started whispering to each other. "Not only that but she has managed to capture the vice president, Mike Pence, and he is currently being held prisoner inside the strong hold. Most likely without food or water and he's probably beaten regularly." Nobody gasped when he said this, because no one likes Mike Pence.

"Well what will we do?" A man in a fancy suit asked.

"We will have a full scale invasion of the stronghold and capture Hillary and her followers and rescue the prisoner as well." Trump replied confidently.

"When will the attack happen?"

"Today." The room immediately burst into conversation.

"ARE YOU INSANE? WE AREN'T READY." Someone cried out.

"I've had this attack planned for a month. I have all the troops necessary for the mission assembled and ready in the back yard right now. In an hour they will fly across the country to Hillary's base and begin the rescue. All information you hear in this room is classified and you cannot tell ANYONE about it. We want to catch them by surprise. This meeting is over." Trump then got out of his seat and walked out the door, leaving everyone shocked and confused. Barron got out of his seat as well and scurried after his father.

"Father why didn't you tell me about this?"

"Trump turned to his youngest child and said, "I wanted to Barron, but the possibility of you letting something slip was too high. Besides this plan is super cool and I don't anyone copying me." Barron nodded his head and walked away to the window. He looked outside to see thousands of troops loading gear and supplies into five massive planes. Barron decided to himself that he had to be on one of them. He glanced back to see that his father had had already left. Barron then turned and started walking to his room. He went inside and closed his door. He changed out of his Gucci outfit and into a _Supreme_ hoodie and some jeans. He dumped out his backpack of school supplies and filled it up with Mt Dew and Doritos. He needed food for the trip and going to the kitchen would be too suspicious. He then got some sunglasses and put them in his bag. He'd never been to California as his father would always say it's too liberal for a child and that it would rot his brain. Finally he reached into his underwear drawer and pulled out a revolver painted red, white, and blue he then put that in his backpack too. He went to the outlet and pulled out his phone charger and put it in his pocket, he was ready.

He went to the door and peeked outside, there was nobody in the hallway. He then slid into the hallway and quietly sneaked his way throughout the house. Hiding in the shadows whenever he heard someone coming. Finally he arrived in front of the basement steps. Looking both ways he crept downstairs into the basement, making sure to not turn the lights on so that no one would find him. He walked at a brisk pace to one of the windows and peered out. He was about 50 feet away from a large pile of crates that had yet to be loaded. He planned on running to them and hiding inside so that he would be loaded with the cargo, but he realized that he would be caught running to them. Barron then turned from the window and leaned against the wall, thinking of a way that he could get in without getting caught. Suddenly Barron heard a loud animal-like shriek from the other room, nearly scaring him to death. He then started walking to find where the source of the noise was. He turned the corner and walked a few steps before he ran into a large black cage. Barron stumbled backwards and landed on his butt. "Oof," he cried out clutching his rump. He glanced upwards seeing two glowing yellow eyes stare backar him. "Oh it's just you," Barron grumbled. He now knew that the shriek had just been his dad's pet bald eagle named Abraham Lincoln. Barron wanted a dog, but Trump said that wasn't 'Murican enough so he bought a fucking eagle somehow.

Suddenly an idea popped into his wealthy head, Barron grinned an evil grin as he opened the cage's door. "Come here little chicken thing, I'm here to be your frieeeennnddd." He then stuck his arm inside, the eagle regarded the boy coldly its eyes boring deep into Barron's. Finally the majestic creature let out a little chirp and flopped onto Barron's arm. Barron then walked over to the window and clumsily slid it open. Following its natural instincts the eagle spread out its wings and soared out the window into the blue sky. "YES FLY MY PRETTY, FLY AWAY!" Barron screeched as Abraham Lincoln lazily soared throughout the camp. Immediately there were cries of alarm.

"IS THAT AN ATTACK DRONE? ARE THE MEXICANS INVADING?"

"Nah I think that's a hot air balloon."

"You idiots it's obviously an eagle a true symbol of American patriotism...HOLY SHIT THAT'S TRUMPS EAGLE! MEN ARM YOURSELVES WITH THE FINEST NETS WE GOT, I DON'T WANT TO BE DEPORTED FOR A 3RD TIME." All the soldiers stopped what they were doing and starting running after Abraham Lincoln, who didn't even notice the trouble that it had gotten itself into. Being the idiot Americans they are they starting shooting at the bird as an effort to scare it towards the ground. Barron taking the opportunity wiggled his way out the window and ran as fast as he could to the crates, which wasn't very fast. At this point the entire place was in chaos, many people were screaming, bird poop was everywhere, even a couple fires started. Barron opened one of the crates to see that it was filled to the brim with grenades, he sighed in disgust and put the lid back on. He glanced around seeing if there were any other options, he then decided that it would be much easier for him if he just hid in the cargo pit itself. He took a deep breath and bolted towards the large plane and up the ramp inside. The room was packed full of supplies already, many of the boxes had words on them that were too complicated for Barron to understand. So he decided to hide in the very back behind a box that said "C-4" on the side, whatever that meant. After sitting there for several minutes the screams finally stopped and everyone got back to work. Apparently Abraham Lincoln flew back into the mansion after a couple minutes on his own free will. Finally they were done packing all the things needed for the trip. Not once had anyone checked to see if there were any stowaways, which was good for Barron.

Eventually he heard the door close and he was left in complete darkness. Barron wasn't scared as he had his phone which had a flashlight on it. He turned it just to make sure Slender Man didn't get him. Suddenly he heard the loud roar of the engine fill the room, he clamped his hands over his ears to prevent him from going deaf. He then had a brilliant idea, he opened his backpack to reveal that he left his airpods inside. He took them out and popped them in, listening to his favorite song Gucci Gang. He then felt the plane start moving, it started moving slow but then it started building faster and faster in speed. Until finally he could feel the plane leave the ground. Barron sighed in relief, he had successfully snuck aboard a military plane on his way to fight Hillary and her cultists in California. What couldn't he do?


	8. The Battle

Barron mostly spent his time on the plane by watching movies on his iphone 12, Captain America was his favorite movie so he watched that 3 times in a row. This was the first time Barron hasn't flown in first class so he was very uncomfortable with his current situation. He opened a box of grenades and took about a dozen of them and put them in his backpack. It was very dark in the cargo hold, except for a circular window the size of a dinner plate. He eventually got a little hungry so he ate a family sized bag of Nacho Cheese Doritos. While he was sucking the succulent Dorito dust off of his fingers he stared at the ceiling thinking of what he was gonna do. ' _So this plane's gotta land eventually right? When they open the doors I'll run out as fast as I can so they can't catch me. If it comes to it I can pretend I'm a soldier or something. Then I'll sneak inside the base somehow and get Hillary.'_ Barron smiled to himself for his genius plan, in which no way it could fail.

Barron got bored of using his phone so he decided to take a nap to waste the time. He grabbed a parachute off the wall and wrapped it around himself like a cocoon. He snuggled into the fabric, thinking about his president sized bed back at home. He fell asleep for about 45 minutes when he was woken by loud booming noises. He got off the floor and waddled to the window peering out. To his amazement they were flying over the city of Los Angeles. His mouth was hanging open as he watched the city sprawl out in all directions. He then finally noticed that the plane was flying towards the Hollywood Sign, or more importantly what was behind it. Barron gasped as he finally noticed the giant structure built on the hill. It looked to be made of black marble and at least 20 stories high with dark red windows and a large American Flag flying over it. Barron quickly took a picture and put it on his Snapchat story, so that the commoners could see the cool stuff that he was doing. While he was putting his phone away he heard the plane start shoot at the building with its guns. The bullets broke a few windows but that was about the extent of the damage. The closer they got the clearer the structure looked. It was shaped like a hexagon, so it was the Pentagon, but lame.

Out of nowhere a loud whistling sound could be heard. Barron pushed his face against the glass just in time to see a large missile fly from the base and make contact with the side of the plane. The boom was deafening and Barron flew back into the crates. The missile had blown a huge hole in the side of the plane and now they were losing altitude. The plane spun in circles as Barron was tossed around like a rag doll inside the cargo hold. Somehow he managed to grab his backpack in all the chaos and put it on his shoulders. He knew that if he didn't have a parachute he wouldn't survive the fall. Boxes and crates were crashing around the room, so he lost sight of his parachute in the progress. He sighed in annoyance, "I come all this way just to die without being awesome? I think not."

Now filled with determination he took off his Supreme hoodie and timed for the moment for when he would escape. A box of grenades moved out of the way just in time for Barron to jump out the hole of the plane. Immediately he was filled with terror as he now was free-falling to the ground. Various other items were falling as well, which made Barron feel less lonely. Finally he opened the bottom of his hoodie and to his greatest surprise it caught air. He was instantly jolted upwards and nearly lost his grasp. But now he was safe, sure he was still falling but now it was if he had a parachute of his own. He then casually watched as the massive plane that he was in 30 seconds ago, crash into a movie star's mansion and explode. Destroying the entire suburb that it was in. "It looked tacky anyway," Barron said to himself. He looked up to see that the other planes were continuing their course towards the stronghold. But just like the first one another one was shot by a missile. ' _They must have aimbot,'_ Barron thought to himself.

While he was slowly drifting to the earth there was a random gust of wind that caught hold of him. Barron screamed but he was helpless as the wind was now carrying him towards the giant building. "Oh no no no no no," Barron yelped as the building became very close. He braced for impact and just like that he fly into the side of the building. Barron smacked against the wall like a bug on a windshield, pancaking himself. He then slowly slid to the ground his skin made loud squeaking sounds as it rubbed against the marble. He then flopped onto the grass quite surprised that he managed to survive such an event. He stood up and dusted himself off and put his hoodie back on. He stood back and looked up at the massive structure which seemed to loom over him, as if trying to intimidate him. He shuddered and turned around just to see on one of the other planes explode in a violent explosion right above him. He shielded his eyes as the bright burst had burned his eyes. Burning showers of debris starting falling from the sky and Barron started running around in circles shrieking. After dodging all the debris he decided that he had to find a way inside the stronghold.

He starting walking alongside the building until he came across a door. He pressed his ear against it and heard nothing, deciding it was safe he reached in his backpack and pulled out a grenade. ' _I've used these in Fortnite, what's the difference?'_ He thought to himself as he pulled the pin out of the grenade, he then threw it at the door. Immediately when it made contact it exploded, blowing the door of its hinges. Barron dabbed in success and jumped through the door. The room was small and dark and dusty from the explosion. Barron pulled out his phone and turned on the flash light, prepared to see the horrors waiting for him in the Liberal Base. The dust finally settled and he could see that the room had rows of cleaning supplies and posters of Hillary Clinton. He realized that he must be in a janitor's closet. He took a mop off the wall, it was always wise to have a melee weapon. Eventually he found a door against the back wall. He opened it to reveal a dark hallway with more posters of Hillary Clinton, most of them photoshopped so that she had nice titties. Barron took off down the hallway not knowing where he was going. All he wanted to do was find Hillary and arrested her for liberalism.

He was about to turn a corner, but stopped because he could hear footsteps. He crouched beside the corner and waited for his prey. Eventually a short man turned the corner and Barron jumped up and screamed, "Frick you Libtard!" He then then swung his mop like a baseball bat and smacked the man in the head, knocking him out instantly. The man was wearing a t-shit that said "Stronger Together" Barron took it off him and put it on as a disguise. Barron smiled at his cleverness and took off down the hall. He could hear more voices as he moved deeper into the base. The end of the hallway opened up into a large room filled with people and desks, one entire wall was filled with monitors which displayed the military trying to get inside. A shrill cackled filled the air, he looked to his right and saw Hillary lounging on a golden throne holding a wine glass in her hand.

"Are our turrets in place Minority?" Hillary asked a young black woman holding an iPad.

"Why yes Empress Hillary, they should be going online in 3...2...1." One of the monitors showed a number of turrets placed along the top of the base, firing upon the invading army. Hillary let out another cackle of excitement.

"These dumbass Republicans think they can get inside the Hexagon as if it was some third world country. I'm surprised it took them this long to finally launch an invasion, Mike Pence has been imprisoned here 3 months and no one has cared a bit." She smiled a bit and took a sip of her wine. "We destroyed most of their airships yet they still cling on to the little hope they have, they're such...Americans. The only way they can get in here is if someone manually disables our defenses, as if that is gonna happen." An idea appeared in Barron's head, he reached into his back pack and pulled out all of his grenades. Taking a deep breath he pulled the pins out of them and chucked them into the room and ran for cover. There were cries of alarm followed by massive explosions. Barron then went back into the room to see fire and chaos. He saw the iPad and ran over and picked it up, wondering if he did a good thing.


End file.
